A Mother is Born

On August 19,  at10:56 pm PST, my son Wesley was born. But, this minute in history marks another birth just as important--the birth of a mother!

Imagine it! I was pushing this little person out of my body just a minute prior at 10:55 pm, and all of a sudden, 60 short seconds go by and he is no longer inside of me. He is strong and healthy and covered in vernix, and he's mine--all mine. :) In that moment, I have become a mother.

It's been 6 weeks since Wesley came into the world and 6 weeks of motherhood for me. Things are going well, but I don't think I will ever be able to say that I'm "getting the hang of this motherhood, thing".

Just the other day, my brother-in-law asked me what it's like to be a mother. I told him (all humor aside) that the past 6 weeks have seemed like one, long, continuous day, interspersed with constant feedings and 3-hour naps.

This is not too far from the truth! Motherhood is a LOT of work, and I don't know that any birthing class really mentions that. In fact, it seems that most first-time mothers (me included!) hardly know what life will be like post-pregnancy. So, here's my two cents on the joys, and the not-so-glamorous moments, of motherhood:

Cuddle Buddy

My most favorite moments spent as a mother have been when my little Wesley is cuddling up on my chest, perfectly content or sleeping. I know that these moments won't last forever, proven by the fact that he is beginning to outgrow his newborn clothing. In what will seem like an instant, he will have outgrown my lap as well, and I will no longer get these perfectly cuddly moments. So, cuddle while you can, new moms!

Was that a smile? 

Most newborn smiles are more like a muscle spasm and they usually occur when the baby is passing gas or sleeping peacefully. But last week, Wesley really started to smile AT me! It's been very wonderful to see him stare into my eyes, recognize my face, and then smile directly at me. It's rewarding because often motherhood can be exhausting, and it's good to know that your little one appreciates you when he gives you a little smile. :)

Bring on the dirty diapers

Besides costing an arm and a leg, diapers are definitely one of the not-so-glamorous parts of a mom's job. But (haha, no pun intended), in reality the diapers aren't that bad! At least for now, there have not been any blowouts and the diapers don't smell too bad, either. So, new moms, appreciate the moments when diapers don't smell and don't get all over the place--I'm sure in a few months' time I'll want to deny that I ever said changing diapers was "not that bad", especially when the diapers become little stink bombs. :)

Breastfeeding

Breastfeeding...the double-edged sword of motherhood. I must admit that this was the one thing I wish people had been more honest about with me. On the one hand, breastfeeding is a wonderful bonding experience and a time when the mother can have the baby all to herself (because there are cries that only breast milk will pacify!). But, on the other hand, breastfeeding hurts! Now, I don't want to scare new moms away from breastfeeding. Know that it doesn't always hurt, and the pain can often be avoided by having proper positioning and a good latch (make sure you take advantage of your lactation consultant's wisdom in the hospital before you head back home), but the first few days of breastfeeding WILL and DO hurt. Obviously, it's less pain than labor, so any woman who just went through labor should have no trouble tolerating the pain of breastfeeding. The breast--and especially the nipple--is very tender and has to be "toughened up" a bit before the pain recedes. After that, though, I would say that breastfeeding really is a joy. In fact, it was during breastfeeding that I experienced some of Wesley's first smiles; he would finish eating, come off the nipple, look up at me and smile. It was then that I truly felt he appreciated me and the nourishment I gave him.

Also, breastfeeding is a time when you get to be spoiled a bit. Sit in a comfortable place and put on a movie or Netflix show. Ask people to bring you snacks and beverages to make your time breastfeeding more enjoyable. Let others give you a foot massage or rub your shoulders while you nurse, whatever helps you to feel spoiled. Take advantage of this time to read a book or just watch your little baby.

Insomnia

Luckily, in the third trimester of pregnancy, you become a pretty well-trained insomniac. Whether it's having a hard time sleeping due to back pain or needing to get up for constant potty breaks, pregnant ladies already know what it's like to wake up multiple times in the middle of the night; a full night of sleep becomes a luxury that pregnant ladies, and new moms, no longer have access to. SO, the transition to motherhood is pretty easy. :)

At first, I spent most nights waking up to my baby's every coo and fidget because I wanted to make sure he was still breathing. Now, I wake up only to change his diaper and feed him; he lets me know when he's hungry, and I no longer wake up to his every move.  But, because there is no avoiding the insomnia that arises as a new mother, my advice is basically to get as much sleep throughout the day as you can. When you have family or friends over, let them hold the baby while you catch a quick hour of shut-eye. Or, when the husband is home from work, especially on the weekends, let him get in some baby-bonding time while you get that much needed power nap. And, when you are home alone and you want so badly to do the dishes or vacuum the carpet while your baby is asleep, give yourself a break and sleep instead. The advice of "sleeping when your baby sleeps" is a really good one to stick to. You'll be so much happier and much more able to serve your baby if you take care of your physical needs, sleep being key!

 Going on errands

When I go on a quick errand to the grocery store, or to drop off a library book at the library, or just to get out and go for a walk, it seems that I end up taking the whole house with me! I have to pack up the diaper bag, strap baby into the carseat, carry my purse, and get the reusable grocery bags. Then...precariously holding all of these things in one hand while balancing the carseat in the other hand, I shimmy my way out the door, lock it, and prance down the stairs to my car. When I finally get to the car, beads of sweat running down my face, I unlock the car doors, toss baby and supplies in the back seat, and then head out to my destination. But the fun has only started! Once I get to my destination, I pull out the carseat, strap it into the stroller or put it into the grocery cart, and proceed to take care of my errands, hoping that baby stays asleep the whole while. :) 

So, errands are definitely an adventure, but as a new mom I suggest getting out as much as you are able. Otherwise, you begin to feel a little cooped up in the house and that's not good for shaking those postpartum baby blues. So, don't be afraid to get out of the house, but be sure that you don't overexert yourself right away. Just take it easy and know that you are not the only mother who also feels like a camel carrying around all that baby stuff! 

Extra emotions

The postpartum baby-blues do exist, just so you know. I think all pregnant ladies probably think, "oh, that won't happen to me" but they will; in some small way, at least,  the baby blues will affect you. After bringing home the baby, you are in a honeymoon state of excitement and happiness. But, that first night at home, you will most likely get little to no sleep, and you might still be having trouble with breastfeeding. So, with that in mind, you will most likely feel under appreciated, overworked, and exhausted. These feelings basically are the baby blues, and it's hard to avoid them when you are super tired and haven't had a real moment to yourself in several days since you had the baby. When these feelings of sadness and depression seep in, my best advice is to talk about your feelings with someone, whether it be your spouse, your friend, or another family member. When you talk about these feelings with someone else, that person can act as an extra support as they help you bare your emotional burden. 

One person on whom I relied heavily was my Heavenly Father. I don't think I've prayed for help more in my life than I have in the past six weeks as a new mother. You are of great worth to your Heavenly Father and He has granted to you the responsibility of one of his precious spirit children. He knows that there will be plenty of sleepless nights, moments of sadness and even some crying. But, there will also be those happy moments--a cute little smile from your little one, cuddly moments, and great bonding time. When you begin to feel down, get down on your knees and pray to your Heavenly Father--He knows a bunch about parenting, or so I hear, and is eager to help you in your journey as a new mother.

Motherhood: a divine role

To end on a spiritual note, I want to share a video I watched just a few days after having Wesley--I basically bawled through the entire thing, too. :) Not only is the movie beautiful, but the message is so sweet. It just reminds me that motherhood is such a divine role; even when it's interspersed with insomnia, dirty diapers, and postpartum blues, it is all worth it in the end. 

Being a mother is the best job in the world!

Thanks for reading. I'd love to know your opinion, advice, and feelings about becoming a new mother. What helped you get through the baby blues? What inspired you to give every day your all, even when it was tough? Soon-to-be-moms--what fears do you have about becoming a mom that I might not have mentioned above? Let me know in the comments below and let's keep this conversation going.